7 Difficulties Friends and Family Have With Your Film Job

Angry Ann Difficulties of Film JobsCreative Commons License photo credit: joshjanssen

The freelance lifestyle is a tough sell to your friends and family who are used to traditional types of jobs. You know, the kind of jobs where you wear a suit and tie, shave every morning, smile at the boss, and, well, earn a steady paycheck.

To them, freelancing is the complete antithesis of that.

But to you, freelance filmmaking is full of opportunity to change your office each morning, work with different people, and arrive on set ready for a brand new experience everyday.

Spouses, best friends, parents — they all have their opinion on your job. Though they want the best for you and for you to be happy, but there are still obstacles in the way of their complete acceptance.

1. You Work Long Hours

The 8-hour work day and 40-hour work week is how most people envision a full-time job. So when they hear of 12 hour days and often 60+ hour weeks, it boggles their mind that someone is able, let alone willing, to work that much time.

Unless you work solely on higher-end commercial or industrial gigs, then one frustration for friends and family is you aren’t home as often as they’d like. When you factor in travel time, it’s not unusual to be gone for 14 hours of the day and spend the rest of the time sleeping (with a quick shower thrown in — maybe).

It’s an unusual schedule for those who have never experienced it, especially when, to you, a 12-hour day can feel faster than 8-hours of sitting in an office.

I remember halfway through Ghosts Don’t Exist my mother remarking she hadn’t seen me for three days because all I did was come home and sleep. I could tell she was frustrated, but there wasn’t much I could do — the days were long, the commute longer, and when I came home, I was simply too exhausted to do anything else but collapse on my bed.

2. You Spend Too Much Time Traveling

When you’re working long hours and on location, it’s the one-two punch to your loved ones. Not only are you working the entire time, but you’re not even close enough to grab a bite to eat with.

And with those long hours, even fitting in a short phone call can be difficult.

Feature films are particularly notorious for pulling you away from your social life. When I was in Las Vegas for a month and a half on a feature, I lost touch with many of my friends simply because I was incredibly busy and so distanced from the social scene in my hometown.

As a result, when I finally came home, a lot of people were disappointed that they hadn’t seen or talked to me in a long time.

3. Your Income is Sporadic

The hardest part of living in the freelance world is living in the freelance world. Simply being alive costs money: bills, food, drinks, medicine, cars… you need cash to take care of those things.

With freelancing, every day, week, and month can be shaky in terms of income. There are some months you make more money than you had hoped for and some where you make barely enough to scrape by.

The income is nowhere near as dependable as many would like.

The idea is that every year you increase your income just a little bit by making more contacts, finding more work, and establishing a professional presence, but in the early days, things are tough.

And if you have friends who want you to spend money to go out, a boyfriend or girlfriend to buy gifts or dinners for, and a family to take care of, they may get frustrated at the fact you’re always operating on a budget.

Your ability to be fiscally flexible is limited by the fact that you never know for sure when you’ll get paid next — and let’s not even get started on working for free.

4. You Get a Lot of Job Leads… But Not as Many Jobs

It’s not unusual, at any one point, to be juggling multiple projects looming on the horizon. But like an amateur juggler at the end of his trick, you don’t always catch the balls as they come down.

I remember talking to my parents one time when they asked what shoots I had coming up. I told them about four projects I was loosely attached to and they were excited for me.

CUT TO: A FEW WEEKS LATER

They asked me again and, well, all of them had been scrapped. Two were delayed for funding issues, one was permanently delayed while the director was in the hospital, and the fourth just sort of fell off the radar.

They were very disappointed, as was I, but my expectations weren’t as high as theirs because of one of the first lessons a camera assistant taught me:

“It’s never guaranteed until you step on set,” he said, “and even then, it’s not really a sure thing.”

It’s hard for friends and family after awhile when they hear you talking about so many projects and don’t see you working on as many. The carousel of the film world is strangely foreign to them.

5. Your Schedule is Always Changing

Part of the draw to working freelance is the flexibility of it all. There’s no overhead for your employment because you determine when, where, and what you will work on.

At least that’s the idea.

But what tends to happen is the flexibility of freelance becomes a burden. Jobs will rise as quick as air bubbles in water and just as soon pop when they get close to surfacing.

Since film jobs are so undependable, your schedule is subject to those last-minute changes. Having a hard schedule where you can build in firm free time is simply an unrealistic expectation — and a frustrating fact for your friends and family.

Have you ever tried to plan an event where everyone RSVP’s with a “maybe?”

You quickly find yourself planning mini-vacations and trips around the holes in your schedule instead of scheduling gigs around the trips you wish to take. You also find yourself missing important dates — anniversaries, birthdays, weddings — because you’re on location or committed to a shoot.

6. Your Job is Easy to Misunderstand

Whenever somebody asks me what I do and I reply with, “I’m a camera assistant,” I always feel the need to follow-up with an explanation.

“Well, I’m in charge of…”

Many of the crew positions on film sets are misunderstood by those outside the industry, except for key ones like director, cameraman, etc.

These misunderstandings create tension with those loved ones who think, because you have “assistant” in your job title or because “grip” sounds too brute-like, that what you do is not important.

They don’t understand a camera assistant is actually a highly valued technical job that demands a specific skillset and millions of people across the world make a decent and fair living off below-the-line crew positions.

These are the same type of people who, though they don’t say it, are thinking you need to get a “real job,” you know, a job that matters. Which brings me to the last point…

7. Your “Reel” Job is Not a “Real” Job

Let’s get it out of the way:

They’re right. Your job is not a real job.

- Your job is not a real job if you define real jobs as one that requires a university-level education.

- Your job is not a real job if you define real jobs as one where you have a micromanaging boss.

- Your job is not a real job if you define real jobs as one where you don a suit, grab a briefcase, and get to the office by 9.

But that doesn’t mean your job isn’t a real job with real responsibilities and commitments. And, in time, can result in real money.

Friends and family struggle because your job doesn’t fit the paradigm they expect it to, but the career landscape is shifting and freelancing is an ever more popular pathway, especially in creative arts.

The reality is, if you haven’t already, you may have to quit a “real” job for your “reel” job or work both at the same time.

It takes a certain level of understanding, however, for friends and family to grasp the concept that your office changes everyday, that your hours aren’t consistent — as well as your paycheck — and that your boss is both a partner and a superior.

In no way is a film job a “real” job, but that’s part of the gig — even if it means some frustration for loved ones.

About the author:

About the author: Evan Luzi is the editor and founder of The Black and Blue as well as a freelance camera assistant.

You can learn more about him or follow him on Twitter and Google+.

This Isn't About One Gig. It's About Launching Your Career.
  • http://twitter.com/edmoore Ed Moore

    If I’m at a party or something and people ask me what I do, I always just say “cameraman” or “photographer” or even “I work in the film industry”. Too boring to explain what a DOP does; and even having done so you can tell by the look in their eye that they don’t believe that’s really a job that needs doing :)

  • http://twitter.com/Olneysimon Simon Olney

    Well said, although I’ve always been of the opinion that if somebody kicks up a fuss about my lifestyle, then I probably wasn’t going to get along with them anyway. I’ve talked to a few crew members who have taken a sabbatical from the industry because their significant other doesn’t like the lifestyle, only to regret it when they decide to part ways and find themselves out of the game.

    As for explaining my job to laymen I tend to go for Film Electrician, makes me sound smarter than I actually am ;)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=7717548 Lawrence Marshall

    Opposite experience for me.  When I meet new people and tell them I work in the camera dept..they always want to know more and are exhilarated by knowing someone “in the industry”.  I must meet folk that still think film is neat–perhaps that’s just the midwest.

  • Ubermonkey

    Great article man, loved reading and oft-ignored part of living the industry. 

  • Paulraymondmedia

    I’m just breaking into working as a PA on commercial sets. I’m 23 and moved back in with my parents after school and I get those questions all the time from my Dad about finding a real job while I’m working as a PA to help pay off school expenses. I think this article is a must read for him to figure out what I do and what my work life is now like.

  • http://www.theblackandblue.com/ Evan

    “I work in the film industry” is always my go-to answer when I don’t feel like getting into details. If it ever comes up again with the same person they usually ask, “So, like, what do you actually do?”

  • http://www.theblackandblue.com/ Evan

    Ah yes, I can see that happening in the Midwest. Depends on the generation, too, I think.

  • http://www.theblackandblue.com/ Evan

    Good choice, Simon! Have you ever had somebody kick up a fuss to you?

  • http://www.theblackandblue.com/ Evan

    Thank you Ubermonkey!

  • http://www.theblackandblue.com/ Evan

    Most of the questions I think arise from a misunderstanding of how it all works. 

    If it helps, you should run these numbers by your dad: Union rate for a 1st AC is something like $450/day minimum. So let’s say you work 200 days out of the year, you’ll have an annual income of $90,000. 

    And that’s with taking 165 days off!

    If you work even more, you make even more. The money is there to be made if you can put in the time, find the right market, and be good at what you do. 

  • http://twitter.com/Olneysimon Simon Olney

    I’ve had a few problems with close friends confused and annoyed that I can’t make their birthday party, they turn around to me and ask “well can’t you just take the day off?”. Also get lots of disapproving looks when I have to drop out of a commitment last minute because some work has come up, but most people are fairly understanding. Biggest problem I’ve had is that recently I’ve been trying to get trained up as a scuba diver, but the people who I’ve been talking to want me to commit to eight fridays in a row, and can’t get their head round the fact that there’s a good chance I might not be able to make this coming Friday, let alone the next eight.

  • http://www.howardnewstate.com Howard Newstate

    My typical answer on the “So what do you do?” question from the seatmate who just wants to talk:

    “I’m a greeter at Walmart”

    They can’t go very far with that.

    :)

    Howard Newstate
    Director of Photography LA/NYC

  • http://www.howardnewstate.com Howard Newstate

    Oh, and that’s totally MY line, haha. So I don’t want everybody ruining that for me…

    Howard Newstate
    Director of Photography LA/NYC

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=508563620 Lynn Padetha

    I absolutely LOVE this post. I just ran across this site a week ago, and already I’m finding some people who know of it as well.

    Interesting enough. I met Howard Newstate at a film meeting/get together like 2 weeks ago in Columbus, Ohio. (Hey Howard, it’s me Lynn Padetha!!)

    I’m kinda wigging out that 2 new people I met know of this blog. 

    Awesome job, looking forward to more posts!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000098830141 Sergio Zanello

    I tell them I shoot people. Just because I like confusion and awkward silences :P

    And I don’t consider it a real job; I consider it a recreational past time which generates income. Sometimes ;)

    Thanks for the write up man, love your work

  • FB

    pretty much what happens to me most of the times. But generally speaking, people want to know more…and more…and more….and more….up to the point where they usually ask if I know some celebrity…

  • http://www.hoganscarpeitalia.com/ hogan scarpe

    i like this article well good!!!

  • Doug Hart

    Number 8:  Most People Do Not Understand the “Time-Shifting” We Do as Freelancers -
    My first big fight with Ex-Wife #1 was when I got a call for an out-of-town job over the weekend that happened to include her birthday.  I said, “Yes, I know that is your birthday, but we’ll celebrate when I get back into town.” 
    This made perfect sense to me, but she went berserk, and actually threw something at me.
    This happened many more times, of course; our 6-month wedding anniversary, the 5 year anniversary of our first date, etc. 
    I always made up for it (I thought) with flowers (sometimes delivered while I was still away), a present, and expensive dinner out, etc., but she never quite understood the concept – that it is the “EVENT” that is important, not the actual date. 
    Remembering and celebrating the EVENT, even technically a week late, should have made up for being away, not to mention the income received for taking that job, and the connections for future work.
    My first marriage ended because I was working TOO MUCH. 
    My second marriage ended because I was working TOO LITTLE.
    There must be a compromise position in between, but I never found it.
    Doug Hart
    1AC, NYC
    ICG 600, Eastern Region, NEB member

  • Doug Hart

    Years ago, in New York State, when in order to collect Unemployment Insurance, you had to go in person to one of their offices every week, wait on long lines like at the DMV, and hand in your paperwork to a clerk. 
    Now, of course, we do it via computer, but then you had to sign in person for every check. 
    When I first got to the window this one time, the clerk asked, without even looking up from examining my paperwotk, “Did you work last week?”
    “Yes,” I replied.
    “How many days?” she asked.
    “One,” I said.
    “How much did you earn?”
    “1,659.63,” I whispered to her, hoping no one else would hear (remember, this was 20+ years ago).
    “YOU MADE OVER 16 HUNDRED DOLLARS IN ONE DAY?”  she shouted, incredulously, and everyone else in that office, clerks and unemployed like, stopped talking and working, and just stared at me, open-mouthed. It was like a freeze-frame in a film. 
    Someone actually dropped and broke something made of glass, which resounded and echoed in the now silent office. 
    I tried to explain that it was an 18 hour day, on a TV commercial, and that I had not worked at all the previous month, and had no additional work pending, but it didn’t stop the gawking and staring.
    I signed the form, and blushing bright red, hustled out of that office as quick as I could.
    Civilians just don’t understand our type of “Freelancing.”
    Doug Hart
    1AC, NYC
    ICG 600, ER, NEB

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PR4HUJPMGH65CRZ7A2CAAL7QIU Elemental Visuals

    After having to bow out as best man at my cousin’s wedding and missing countless birthdays, anniversaries and family events over the years I made the difficult choice and put my family and myself over work.

    As Steve Jobs famously said, ‎”Well, you know, the goal is not to be the richest man in the cemetery. It’s not my goal anyway” .

    Yes, this involved a lot of changes such as leaving Cali, much of the film business and my film friends. I miss these folks, but in the end they were just people that I worked and partied with. Very few of them made a direct impact on my life as in putting $ in my pocket, feeding my family or really being there for me in a pinch. 

    However, my family and friends have been and that’s what made my decision easier. Since going out on my own, I’ve drastically cut the number of people in my food chain (producers, directors, dps, etc) needed for me to work and I have the flexibility to chose what I want to do and when.

    It’s a tough choice and one that involves much thought and courage. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000187567483 Lydia Glassman

    This is true.

  • http://www.theblackandblue.com/ Evan

    Haha that’s what it always comes down to isn’t it? Although, can’t say I haven’t tried to play that card to impress a girl here and there…

  • http://www.theblackandblue.com/ Evan

    It’s tough, I know exactly what you mean. It’s such a hard lifestyle to explain sometimes

  • http://www.theblackandblue.com/ Evan

    I’ll make sure if I ever use it I follow up with, “That’s copyrighted by Howard Newstate, by the way. I can’t claim the witty remark for my own!” :P

  • http://www.theblackandblue.com/ Evan

    Lynn,

    Apologies for getting back to your comment so late! I’m happy that you’re enjoying the site. I also think it’s awesome you’re finding people you know reading it! How cool…. hope you stick around for awhile :)

  • http://www.theblackandblue.com/ Evan

    Thanks Sergio! I shoot people is a good line, I’ll start using it when I’m drunk at parties :)

  • http://www.theblackandblue.com/ Evan

    For you and I at least :P

  • http://www.michaelaangelique.com Michaela Angelique

    It totally happened to me, I had to cancel my flight one week before I was supposed to fly back home. I got a call for a shoot. My family was a little disappointed.
    The thing that they don’t understand sometimes, they ask, can you at least be here for 1 or 2 days or so. But shooting call would have you replaced with another person if you can’t come on the set for the whole shoot (talking as ACs perspective).

    My cousin also got confused when I was offered as Assitant Director instead Camera Assistant, I told her, I don’t like being AD, it’s not my thing. She said, “Well, I don’t really know the difference but Assistant Director sounds a very good important position. Maybe you should take that job.”

    Also, I got booked for the next 4 weeks in 1 month, later another job called me, I wouldn’t be available because I was booked. Then it turned out that the job that has booked me before, they cancelled the dates because they haven’t got the fixed locations. -_-’.

    I am thinking to find my soulmate who works in the industry, he’ll be able to understand all our situations. hahaha.

    I totally love this posts. Thanks Evan!

    -Mic

  • http://www.theblackandblue.com/ Evan

    Doug,

    I’m sorry to hear you had difficulties with your two marriages. I believe, in this industry, there are many more hurdles that those in more traditional careers don’t encounter.

    I agree completely with what you say, about how the event is what is special not the date itself. I have been lucky enough to have found a girlfriend who understands that. She knows I try my best to be available on those important days, but also knows that in certain cases, I have to take the work. I almost always check with her before hand to make her feel like part of the process, and that helps, I think.

    Your advice is great and I think it’s important for anybody starting a relationship in this career to set forth the boundaries early on.

    Looks like you need a Goldilocks marriage — one that says because you work JUST THE RIGHT amount of time.

    Thanks for the great comment, as always!

    - Evan

  • http://www.theblackandblue.com/ Evan

    This story was awesome, Doug! When are you gonna do a guest post for me? I bet you have tons more of stories like this, and you tell them so well.

    I loved that someone dropped a glass object — haha! Life is truly out of a movie sometimes isnt it?

  • http://www.theblackandblue.com/ Evan

    Good advice for those who may be thinking about this lately. You made a tough choice, but one that was right for you. What’s important is to think to yourself what’s important to you. It’s never going to be easy and goals shift as life does as well.

    I’m glad to hear you’re happier now, even if it was tough at first.

  • http://www.theblackandblue.com/ Evan

    All very real situations Michaela! Happens more than people know. Thanks for sharing your stories :)

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  • Jet

    Thanks Evan,

    I’ll print this out and when I learn to know a potential new girlfriend who doesn’t work in the industry who asks me what I do for a living I hand her over your article.

    Jet

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  • Greg Taylor – Operator/ AC

    I met this one guy in Asia at a bar a while back, we were all foreigners and introducing ourselves. I said I was in the film industry and got the usual questions, this guy said: ” Well I’m in import export. We ship things from…” oh man were people bored quick and some practically walked away. 

    I’ve used it ever since and never had to explain myself once. haha.

    Extra bonus if you like Universal Export ( James Bond’s alias )

  • http://www.theblackandblue.com/ Evan

    Haha! At least wait until the 2nd date to do so :P

  • Johnbauer

    I think nr 5 is the most important one.. My father is working in the film industry and for my growing up it was really hard to see so many plan, vacations and birthdays beeing canceled because of his work. forget longtime planing… And now I’m about to step into this world. I hope my family will oneday can accapte this.