Below are listed some of the more important and “enlightening” tips from Timmy Rubensteiner himself:
An easy way to get more space on your 8gb compact flash card is to just reuse it, and then use RED undead to restore what you wrote over. It’s great way to save money on your production!
If you fuck up a shot with your RED, just tell the director there was a hair in the gate. He prob won’t know what you’re talking about and you can say it was the ACs fault.
When there is a debate about whether the 180 line has been crossed, always argue the opposite of everyone else. If you’re right, you’ll be a hero. If you’re wrong no one will remember anyways and they’ll just flip it in post.
Need more work? Just get a new phone number with an LA area code and always speak with a foreign accent.
Worried your checks from the production won’t clear? Just have the DIT make extra copies of all the footage and recut the movie as a comedy with a laugh track and upload it to YouTube. Problem solved.
If the grip dept is making you look bad because they’re more experienced, hide their gear, then find it at the last location to get bonus points with the producer. “I just saved you my whole paycheck.”
When your 2nd AC is also your DIT, boom op and key grip, always blame him for your fuck ups because he’s clearly too busy to defend himself.
Timmy’s tip to being remembered as a team player: you only have to work hard on the first and last day of the shoot.
When shooting an interview with an older lady, it’s best not to call out right in front of her for the Barbara Walters filter package.
P.S. This advice isn’t serious, so please don’t attempt it on set. Unless you’re working for Timmy, but from what I’ve heard, he only works exclusively with his AC Bubba Jo.